In the Midst of Fear, Worry, and Alarm
(Mark 10:32 TLB)
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
Mark Twain
True, but most of which implies that some of Twain’s worries did happen.
A few of mine have.
Maybe a few of yours have too . . .
Now onto the promised follow-up to my last post – the one about the five exclamation marks of astonishment penned next to something I didn’t see coming . . .
Click here to catch up.
This is a difficult post to write for two reasons:
- Much of this is not my story to tell so I must be careful to tell only the parts that are my story.
- My story doesn’t cast me in a great light.
To my astonishment (this is not the ! ! ! ! ! item), the squirrels have left my fig tree alone this year and it is full of ripe figs.
Which chases my thoughts right back to the scene where I signed off two Mondays ago.
The withered fig tree in Mark’s gospel.
And Peter’s exclamation of astonishment.
“Look, Rabbi!”
Behold what You have done!
Mark’s entire gospel is told breathlessly.
Moving swiftly from scene to scene.
Punctuating events with on-the-road conversations between Jesus and His disciples.
Along the road the Twelve experience the entire spectrum of emotions.
On one end elation, surprise, awe, adoration, intimacy.
And on the other . . .
As the disciples followed they were filled with terror and dread.
A literal translation might read seized with alarm.
Which offers freedom to admit that sometimes we can relate.
Fear and dread and alarm are real.
Which doesn’t surprise Jesus.
Because the verse continues.
Taking them aside . . .
Refusing to shy away from difficult realities, Jesus talks with them.
Right there.
On the roadside.
In the very midst of their fear, worry, and alarm.
My own difficult reality surfaced around Thanksgiving when I learned my daughter was expecting.
Normally this would be wonderful news, but due to pre-existing conditions the medical world’s prognoses terrified me.
And so began a nine-month journey of anxious fretting for me.
Jesus and I talked along the roadside every day, but worry clung like wet wool.
Heavy and uncomfortable.
Every doctor visit revealed new worries I hadn’t known I even needed to be worried about, followed by new prayers.
So many conversations transpired with the Lord along the road.
Honestly, though, the conversations were largely one-sided.
Monologues of worry, fear, and alarm.
I didn’t leave much of an opening for the Lord to get a word in.
Right up until today.
To the moment Bennett Warren was born.
Against all dire warnings from the medical community, my grandson is here.
Thriving beautifully.
And my daughter is fine.
Also thriving beautifully.
The power of God revealed.
Exceeding my wildest expectations.
! ! ! ! !
Like Peter, it’s hard to contain myself.
”Look, Rabbi!”
Behold what You have done!
Not a single terrifying prediction came to pass.
! ! ! ! !
Sometimes our greatest worries do become reality.
And that’s, well. . . reality.
But what I love about the way Mark writes is that along every road, terrifying or not, we find Jesus physically and emotionally present with His followers.
Understanding our fears and worries, listening patiently, talking with us, revealing His power along the way, and tenderly holding our fragile human hearts close to His.
Astonishing truth.
! ! ! ! !
See you in a couple weeks.
Love,
Oh wow! Congrats! He’s adorable 🥰
Btw I just finished Calamity Club and loved it
Thank you! Everyone loves the Calamity Club. I hope to get around to it some day . . .
Congratulations on your miracle!! Grandchildren are the best!! I have 7 and love them all with all my heart. Spend time with him and cherish every moment.
Cindy
Bennett is my number 7. I thought we were all finishe because my youngest grandchildren are 8. Well, except for Bennett. He’s 10 days old!
How precious! What wonderful news. God is so amazing and faithful in spite of our doubts and fear. Love you precious sister in Christ! Thank you for sharing your journey 🙏
It was a terrifying journey, for sure, and we couldn’t figure out what God was doing . . . but God knew what He was doing! Per usual!!!
Congratulations to you and your family Cindy! Bennett Warren, such a strong beautiful name, for a perfect little child of God. ❤️🙏
My daughter wouldn’t tell anyone his name until he was born. Warren was the name of my dad and my grandfather. Bennett comes from the Latin word benedictus which means blessed. She did a great job choosing his names and we all love them! And him!!
Congrats, Cindy! How exciting and a great story.
It was exciting . . . AND terrifying. I kept telling God what to do, but He ignored my ideas and went right on with His good plan. He’s so good like that!
Welcome Bennett Warren❤️❤️❤️ I like how you said you didn’t know there was so many different things to pray about, the details are massive, the Joy you must be feeling, the peace you must be feeling and the thankfulness every detail being answered❤️
Thank you for your prayers back in December. It was a scary time! I am so relieved the whole birth thing is behind us.
So beautiful! The thoughts and the picture!
Thank you, Beth! He really is beautiful, but I guess every grandmother has the same thoughts.
Congratulations! God is so good.
Love the picture of you and Bennett.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful insights.
It was my joy to share God’s goodness!
God gave you months of choosing to trust him. That was a real faith building time. You know he will always supply you with lessons to pass on to us. He never wastes a thing, even our fears and anxiety can all work into something wonderful. Bennett is so blessed to have a wise and loving grandmother like you ❤️
Bennett is adorable. We are all in love!
So excited for you! God is so good to the faithful! Nothing better than a little redheaded boy! Mine is 30 now!
He’s my second redhead! So unusual . . . in a good way.
He’s adorable Cindy!!!!! I love red heads! And what a fine name for a fine boy….congratulations to all of you. You’re so blessed! Love you
I love his name – it seems to fit a baby as well as an adult. I love you too!
Welcome to Bennett Warren!! What a blessing for all of you!! GOD IS GOOD!!😊❤️🙏🏻
Amen to that!
Congratulations! That is awezome news!
It really is quite unbelievable!
Congratulations to the new addition to the family! Bennett Warren is such a cutie!
We miss our old neighborhood. Love your blog and your messages.
Bennett Warren . . . I really love his name. I think my dad would have gotten a big bang out of it and be deeply touched. Miss you too. It’s really not the same place you left.
Well, I didn’t see this coming! Wow! What a beautiful post about God’s faithfulness and your trust in Him. What a beautiful baby boy and Grandmother. I am also partial to those red heads or Gingers. Thank you for sharing your love of Jesus and His message to us through your writing and reflection. I am so blessed to know you, Cindy.
Much love, Carol Anne
Wowzers! So exciting. Where does this young fella live—South Carolina or Tennessee? Wherever he lives I know he has some excited siblings! He will be the King of the Hill forevermore.
I’m with Ruthie in missing our old ‘hood!
Enjoy getting to know your new little man!