Is There Something You Need to Leave Behind?

(John 21:1-14)

I wouldn’t call what I’m experiencing a spiritual dry spell.

More like the absence of peace.

An unsettling sensation of being out of sync with the Lord.

For reasons I can’t put my finger on.

I pray for an answer and open my Bible.

To where I left off.

I just don’t have the heart for Ezekiel this morning.

He’s a hard read.

But in the margin alongside Ezekiel’s hard news, I’ve jotted a reference from John’s gospel.

So I flip there.

After these things Jesus showed Himself again to the disciples at the Sea of Tiberias . . .

(John 21:1)

What follows is an after-the-crucifixion story of Jesus appearing to Peter, John, and a few other disciples who’ve fished all night and caught nothing.

There’s more to the story, but John’s introduction draws me in.

After these things . . .

Sending me reading backwards to discover what these things are.

When it was evening, the disciples were behind closed doors for fear of the Jews.

(John 20:19)

And probably a million other fears.

Like, what are we supposed to do now?

Appearing in their midst, Jesus greets them,

Peace to you!

Peace here has multiple definitions, but this one just about makes my heart turn somersaults:

relational harmony with God

The opposite of feeling out-of-sync.

Exactly what I’m looking for.

Then Jesus said to them again,

Peace to you!

(John 20:21)

Again springs from a root word meaning through the idea of oscillatory repetition.

Like an oscillating fan.

Swinging back and forth.

Repeating.

Peace to you!

Hang onto that oscillating fan image . . .

I don’t generally love a beach walk, but today I’m in the mood.

I reach the jetty and climb atop.

Blue sky, salty air, an ocean panorama . . .

It’s not hard up here to imagine the scene that takes place on the Sea of Tiberias.

Recognizing Jesus on the beach, Peter dives into the sea.

Leaving his boat behind.

And swims to shore.

Which doesn’t seem like an answer to my prayer.

Until I spot the tip of something emerging in the outgoing tide below.

Up against the jetty.

Covered in algae and barnacles.

The remains of a washed-up boat.

Making me wonder about Peter’s boat . . .

Strangely, this does feel like the answer to my prayer.

Because never again in Scripture do we read of Peter on his boat.

It’s no longer useful in his new life.

And it occurs to me that there ~~might be~~ definitely is something I’ve been hanging onto that no longer belongs in my life.

A mindset.

From my old life as a caregiver.

Like the washed-up boat, that mindset was useful once, but no longer.

Its presence is interrupting relational harmony with God and His plans for my life today.

Leaving it behind feels like a relief.

Later I run into a friend.

She’s bubbling over with news about something she’s left behind.

In her words I can practically hear the whir of a heavenly oscillating fan.

Repeating . . .

Leave behind what no longer belongs.

Peace to you!

Initially, I ended the blog right here.

But this afternoon I notice, really notice, this month’s watercolor on the calendar hanging beside my quiet time chair.